I moved to San Francisco three years ago.
The closest analogy to living here (I imagine) is working on one of those remote offshore oil rigs in the North Sea. It's mostly men; there's nothing to do outside of work; everyone knows everyone; your employer feeds you; half of America thinks you're evil; and, every so often, a bust comes through and wipes everything out.
But it's the only place on Earth where you can seriously participate in your industry. And, with some luck, you can become rich without starting with much.
I'm being facetious. People regularly die on oil rigs. It's real work, where your compensation is driven by both a skill premium (for knowing how to operate machinery) and a compensating differential (for being stranded in the middle of the ocean).
The strange thing about SF is that while compensation is also driven by a skill premium (for being a great engineer), you don't get paid to live here (quite the opposite) and there's an unknown variable that lands anywhere between zero and one hundred million that you have minimal control over.
I call this last part the "lottery ticket economy" and it is part of my working theory that the gold rush never really ended.
To be clear, I don't think startup success itself is random. Behind any equity value is a set of people willing a new reality into existence. But how the equity gets distributed is often arbitrary. A ten-thousand-dollar angel check, lobbed into the right company, becomes ten million. The early office manager at a company that IPOs out-earns the PhD who spent a decade doing genuinely hard science at a biotech that didn't.
I don't think personal financial outcomes are a good measure of individual success. And, the PhD has something the angel investor doesn't: the professional glory of being compensated for your intellect.
But there is a legibility problem. There are too many companies launched every week. The products are too complex for anyone to evaluate. Why expend the time trying to understand how impressive someone's work is when you can look at a company's valuation, someone's role, and their join date, and intuit how much they've made? Your financial outcome isn't a measure of your success; it's the only part of your success anyone can read.
I believe that this underlying financialization is what makes the city neurotic. It's not envy. It's that every path that isn't the fastest path to wealth is a path to becoming illegible. And the stories of the lucky angel check are pervasive enough that everyone suspects the fastest path is one they're not on.
After I left my job, I went to London and Paris. When I told people in those cities I was unemployed, they congratulated me and shook my hand and (in one instance) invited me to a pub for a celebratory Guinness and fish and chips. When I meet people in SF and tell them that I'm unemployed, they break down. They start stuttering. There is no way to rationalize a life out of work. The next question is always, invariably, "when do you think you'll start your next thing?"
I had the misfortune a few months ago of being invited to a dinner by a good friend at a house in a posh neighborhood. When I arrived, I realized that I had been hoodwinked and that the dinner had been organized by a venture capital firm. Before I could dart out, the door had been locked and each person started going around the table one-by-one and describing what they were currently working on.
The legibility problem doesn't stay at work. Because every interaction you have anywhere is either overtly or subtly professional, and your social relationships can yield access to speculative but high-performing financial assets, everything is networking. You would never hit on someone at work and your cap table is at the bar. Thus, every interaction is due diligence.
Beyond the office and the bar, there is also this strange exercise of going out to coffee with people to meet them and no one is really sure why they are doing it. And the worst part is that no one's getting any dates out of it either.
The funniest part is that, for how financially centered this city is, people in SF seem conspicuously bad at spending money. (Only slightly better is Miami, where they at least buy a Lamborghini, although it's a Urus and in some unbelievably garish set of colors like pink and green that you can't believe they let off the factory line.)
In contrast, people in LA seem much better at converting money into outcomes. Plastic surgery is pretty good now and everyone is very attractive. If the social fabric of SF is LinkedIn, the connective tissue of LA is Instagram. I once participated in a 45-minute conversation in Venice where three guys tried to figure out who had the least degrees of connection to Tyler the Creator.
When people in SF ask when I'll start my next thing, I've begun saying "soon." Not because it's true, but because it's the only answer that ends the conversation. I aspire to become the most inscrutable man in this city.